“Weighty” issues

A fat person should have a good sense of humour. After all, when others joke about her weight, she’s got to be able to join in the fun and crack a few on herself. No?

A fat person is totally self-obsessed. She eats uncontrollably so that people (read friends, family, colleagues, random acquaintance, mother’s aunt’s daughter’s sister-in-law) will look at her and comment on her expanding body proportions, thereby attracting as much attention as possible.

A fat person is stone-hearted. How else would she deal with the scathing remarks that come her way so relentlessly? 

My increasing weight has been a matter of great interest to a number of people. Of course, nobody says “Nina, you’ve become fat!” Because “fat” is a taboo word, if the concerned person is right there, that is. But they quickly resort to the phrase “ooh you’ve put on (a lot of) weight!!!” Thanks for telling me; I hadn’t noticed, you know (cuz I was so busy eating).

Yes people, for the last time, I HAVE PUT ON WEIGHT. Is it a crime??? Now what do you want me to do, DIE?!!!

I hate to have to explain the reason behind my rather full figure (humour me, please). But c’mon, who likes being told that—again and again and again? I wish I was ten kilos lighter. So? Do you get what you want all the time? Ok, I know I should knock off some of the weight. I know I need to exercise (I do, but I need a lot more!). I know I need to diet. I know it all. But again, what’s YOUR problem???

I am amused by the way most people offer their ‘expert’ comments and observations. An Fb friend once said (I haven’t met her otherwise), “Yeah, I noticed you are the fatty kinds”. I couldn’t believe I heard that right! Then a school friend I bumped into after 15 years said, “You look plumper in your Fb photos. You’ve lost some.” What? My mind? But thanks, anyway. But what I clearly cannot forget is a comment passed casually by an acquaintance—“Are you expecting? There is no other reason why you should be so fat.” No, I didn’t kill him. I only smiled. Cuz he was as old as my dad. Lucky for him!

I wonder if it a very Indian thing to do—commenting on people’s weight. Someone from my family (who is a non-Indian) was flabbergasted when a relative from her hubby’s (who’s my cousin) side “informed” her how much weight she had put on. The poor dear couldn’t believe someone could be so rude. I had to offer her some consolation; but I could only muster, “Welcome to India!”

Living life on my own terms! Really?

So I recently came across this inspiring line—“Don’t waste your life trying to impress other people. Do what you love, love what you do.” My question is…does that really work? Because honestly, I don’t stand a chance! No, really!

More importantly, can one really be happy just doing what pleases oneself? I, for one, cannot. If I did what I felt like, wouldn’t that affect the people close to me? My family, my friends?
There are multiple things I don’t want to do, sometimes on a daily basis, sometimes just because I don’t want to do it at that particular moment. Like cook or clean, run errands for the house, call that friend even though she never calls/returns my messages, or even the “extra” mommy things that my daughter can do without (but I’m forced to cuz someone feels I should). But I do all that… and more.

And then there are things I WANT to do. Like pick up a full time job that pays me a bomb, or go for an all-girls holiday or perhaps watch a movie with friends. Or just laze around all day, and do nothing at all! But if I did that, would the people closely associated with me be okay with it? I bet they will not! Because that’s not how life works. You cannot do what you want to do, all the time. You cannot not “impress” people who matter to you. Impress, as in keep them happy. You got to do it because it makes them happy. So yes, I will give up that movie with friends and go for a movie with my mom instead; yes, I won’t take that all-girls holiday cuz my daughter is still too young to spend time away from me; and no, I won’t laze around all day doing nothing cuz I have a home to look after. 

But when I make these little sacrifices, it somewhere does make me happy. Because it makes the people I love happy. So am I wasting my time? Definitely not! I may not exactly ‘love’ what I am doing, but it sure makes it easier for me to sleep in peace, every single night.

Where has all the privacy gone?

I am not a very private person. Of course I do have secrets (who doesn’t?); stuff that I’m not too comfortable sharing with everybody. But even then, I must say that I’d rather “share” than “stock”. For someone who’s like an open book, this has been rather unsettling. The way Facebook tracks my every move! You know what I mean, right?

From what I am commenting on to what I’m reading... I’m going straight to the second one—what I’m reading. C’mon now! Why would anybody be interested in what I’m reading, that too on any random site! Ok, Ok, so if I was reading something on Facebook and that comes up in the Tickr (or whatever s*** that is called), I can live with that (I think). But why the hell is Fb stalking me on Yahoo? Now I could be reading on fashion, beauty, lifestyle, kids, relationships, sex, movies, books and whatever the heck, Fb is right there, looking at me with its beady eyes, reporting my “activity” back to my Facebook friends! Get a life, Fb!!!

The funniest thing here is (if you can even call it funny), I get to see that side of a person, I never thought existed. So when a classmate from college, who then looked like she would end up becoming a nun (or take up some such equivalent job), reads “50 things to do sexually before you die”, I sit back…and laugh. And then I get angry. This just isn’t fair, you know. Whatever happened to privacy???

I’m technically weak—what I mean is I’m not sure if I can even turn this option “off”, so that people don’t see the 'sleaze' in me who reads about how get an orgasm or how to look sexier than your best friend (:P). But jeez, this is quite disturbing. Have our social networking needs stooped so low? Makes me wonder how long before a distant relative discovers my deepest, darkest reading habits…sigh :(