My advice to my mother

You must wonder what I’m aiming at. It’s Mother’s Day, and instead of pouring praises over you, mom, here I am, trying to offer you advice! If I weren’t fearful of the splendid lashing I’d get for this, I would have shared this with you…

But hey, I am 33. I am a mother. And I think I am old (and mature…hell yeah) enough to offer advice to someone almost double my age. So here goes…

1. Mom, I love you. I don’t say this EVER. And that’s a terrible thing to do. But I wish you’d understand nevertheless. I mean, c’mon, I am 33, married, independent. You are healthy, independent, comfortable. Why the hell would someone live with their mother otherwise? Love.

2. I am an individual; before being a daughter, wife, mother, homemaker, etc. You forget that; a lot. Please don’t.

3. I am not going anywhere. So if you are trying to test the waters by ‘acting’ obnoxious, I am not buying it. So all that moody, unreasonable behaviour is doing us no good. And whatever you do and say, I won’t leave you alone. EVER.

4. I am not trying to be the best mother ever. I am average, but I am bloody good average. Remember that you aren’t perfect either; so don’t expect excellence from me. I am not even going to attempt it.

5. Yes, I am selfish. Everybody should be a little selfish. You should too. You are too. Please don’t judge me for being so.

6. There are some things I cannot do. Just like you cannot. Please don’t overlook the many things I can do and I am doing for such minor “cannots”.

7. When you are upset or angry, I get upset and angry. Even though I pretend like it doesn’t bother me. Open your heart and you’ll notice.

8. When people leave this world, they leave an empty space that cannot be filled. I am not attempting to take someone’s place or fill that void. I wish you’d understand my limitations and not expect so much from me. I am only human, and quite flawed at that!

9. Make more friends. It can do wonders. A social life does not mean hanging out with the family ALL THE TIME. It means having someone outside the family to talk to. It’s important…very important.

10. You are strong; a lot stronger than I had expected. But strength doesn’t mean closing your arms across your heart. I am 33 and mature and independent and all that, but I am still your child, and I need more warmth. Being warm doesn’t mean you’ll be rendered weak.

Happy Mother’s Day, Amma.

PS: I couldn’t possibly share half of this with you, mom. But I promise I’ll try J